Coconut
by Utsuha Moon
Summary: What happens if Hiccup and Astrid stumble upon a coconut? Shenanigans, that's what.


**Okay. So. I needed to write shenanigans, so have some shenanigans. This idea came to me at 3am kay. :'D**

**Please R&R!**

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"Hiccup, wait up!"

Such a call was futile, because the boy named "Hiccup" was already out of hearing range. Besides, with the wind roaring as he and his best friend traveled across the vast body of water at n miles per hour, he wouldn't be able to hear anything anyways. But still, Astrid called for him out of habit, riding on her loyal Stormfly the Deadly Nadder. Even though her dragon was well-fed and in top condition, no being could potentially outrun (or outfly) a very excited Night Fury born with the love of speed. As if missing half of his tailfin could stop him.

It has been exactly two years since the whole fiasco with the Red Death, and exactly two years and a day since Astrid had known Toothless. Berk's bloodlust quickly dwindled after the events, and everyone has come to accept Toothless as this hyper, scaly and overgrown puppy who could roast humans in an instant. Not that he would, of course.

At this point, Toothless' hunger for flight has been satiated for the moment, so he slowed down. The metal pad that controlled the prosthetic tailfin clicked: the dragon's body twisted downward, then glided to a sandy beach beneath soon after.

Hiccup hopped off of his companion and took off his helmet. "Man, that was awesome!"

The boy let his mind wander and his eyes observe the environment. This was a small island he had never visited before (or if he did, he couldn't remember), one with plenty of sand but lacking in greens. He doubted any creatures lived here. But, hey, maybe an unknown species of dragons hid betwe-

"Stop!" he heard Astrid scream from above. Hiccup, like a startled goat, stopped mid-step and froze. What? Was there something on him? Was he missing a limb that he didn't know about? He looked around him. Nope, not missing any limbs. But then he looked down. _Oh. _He was about to step onto some really rotund piece of turd. The youth quickly shuffled back and away from the filthy round thing just as Stormfly landed with a large "thud".

"Uh… Th-thank you, Astrid." Hiccup was quite grateful, because then he would otherwise spend the rest of the afternoon scraping his boot squeaky clean. Guess this island had some inhabitants, after all.

"You're welcome," Astrid said, unimpressed. How the heck did Hiccup miss _that_? "Be more careful, alright?" She sighed. "So, this island looks interesting. We know that there are dragons here, judging by that _thing_." The Viking girl expected some form of reply from her (boy)friend, but was met with silence. _Uh._ "Hiccup?" She turned around to see that idiot _observing a piece of turd_.

"What are you doing?!" Astrid exclaimed.

"Okay, this might sound crazy, but I don't think this is what we think it is," Hiccup responded.

"Whatever it is, it's disgusting."

Astrid was fully ignored as Hiccup called for Toothless, who proceeded to sniff the unknown brown thing. She was expecting the dragon, who possessed a keen sense of smell, to screech or run or do _something_ to show the stupid Hiccup that, whatever it was, was revolting. Instead, Toothless simply cooed and looked at his rider in utter confusion. _Reptile, you're not helping! _

"Well, this is interesting," Hiccup said as he reached for the piece of dung.

"No don't touch tha-" Too late. Astrid made her best you-are-disgusting face as she looked at Hiccup in disbelief. "You. Are. Never. Touching me. Again." Hiccup was many things, and now "disgusting" made it onto the list.

"It's not poop," he stated as-a-matter-of-factly. "It's like… a rock!" He rolled the object around in his hands and knocked on it to show Astrid how solid it was.

"Ew, don't do that!" Astrid's face contorted further. Dear Odin did she want to punch that idiot.

"There's some liquid substance in it too. Take a look at it," Hiccup observed, then tossed the thing to Astrid.

Now, Astrid panicked. Out of reflex and habit, she held out her arms to catch whatever was thrown her way, even though her entire body screamed "no". At the last second, she quickly retracted her arms and softly yelped as the rock-like object landed on the ground, inches from her. She looked at Hiccup with widened eyes. "What are you doing?!" she asked again.

"It's nothing dangerous. See?" Hiccup held out his hands, which were as clean as they could be: no smudge, no dust, no residue-just various calluses.

Warily, Astrid looked down to the dung and bent down. A glance at Hiccup, and then another at the thing. _I will kill you if you're lying._ She shut her eyes and wrapped her fingers around it, fully expecting a nasty surprise. But, oddly, the thing felt… just like a hairy rock. _This is… odd_. Curiosity overrode the disgust that still lingered within her.

"Told ya." Hiccup smirked.

Ugh. She hated to be wrong. But, whatever, because it was time for payback for earlier. She dug her nails into the brown ball, leaned back with her arm fully extended behind her, and proceeded to _launch_ the thing at Hiccup. "Catch!" she yelled.

Hiccup, on the other hand, was left with barely a full second to react. It wasn't enough, of course, because the rotund object crashed into the helmet he was holding and bounced off completely unharmed. Hiccup, on the other hand, fell to the ground and writhed in agony.

"Ow! Why would you do that?!" Hiccup exclaimed, holding his gut.

"Wow, this thing is bouncy." The brown ball would've rolled back to her, for sure, if they were on a more even ground.

"You could've killed me!"

Astrid walked a couple feet and grabbed the fluffy rock, thinking. "Hey, I have an idea!" A bad one at that.

"Are you listening to anything I'm saying?!"

"We could make a game out of this thing! What if-what if we wrapped this in leather and-"

"And murder people with it?!"

"-use it as some type of elimination ball. See, if someone gets hit with the ball, they're out. The goal is to be the last person standing!"

"Or the last person breathing!"

"I call it 'Dunged'!" Yes, this idea was _brilliant_!

"Astrid!"

"Stop whining. I didn't throw that hard." Astrid tucked the object under the arms and ran to Stormfly, then promptly hopped into the saddle. "See you back at Berk!" And she took off.

"Hard?! You dented my helmet!" There was no point in yelling, because Astrid was already high in the sky. Hiccup grunted. "Why did I even try?"

Thus concludes the story of how Astrid brought home a coconut.

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**Much apologies. Getting hit by a coconut is no joking matter. Please don't try this at home, because the squishy human body will 100% lose.**

**Edit: Updated some embarrassing mistakes. orz Thank you guest!**


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